The Bestest
Thursday, April 12, 2007
I usually take advantage of my boss’ outings to call the bestest. Usually the conversations we have are not appropriate for Corporate America – its sometimes “so why don’t you give a blow, he wont be mad at you anymore” and today, I kept insisting that my cheeks hurt and it somehow got to a sex convo and actually I had to remind her sometimes (for a first timer) when performing oral sex, your mouth can hurt. She's a hetero, she should have understood- but she didnt.
Just picture me in the office, my door open and people are walking by and listening to my conversation.
I absolutely love talking to the bestest. Our relationship is odd. We have 6pm phone dates and I get mad when she doesn’t pick up the phone which leads to nasty homo voicemails “where the fuck are you…blah blah blah…I need you”
The bestest is my future roommate – she is probably the only person I can deal with and talk to about anything and she wouldn’t mind if I forced her to watch reruns of the Lword with me. She doesn’t know it yet. But she will sit on the couch and cry with me when I watch the scene where Dana is in the hospital dying.
I called her up today and asked her the usual Q&A…how’s everything, the boy and the sex and well you know…everything. After a while I asked about her living situation and she burst out “ I’m like Dora the explorer”. I thought it was the most amusing thing I’ve ever heard. 1) She is the whitest girl from Staten Island and 2) Dora is Mexican/Spanish/Puerto Rican – I don’t know. All I know is that she pulls out the spanglish out of her ass and expect tiny rugrats to learn Spanish. Maybe it works. Anyway, The bestest went on with her story about Dora and how her living situation is part-time day care and part-time living space (her mom owns a daycare) and so when she comes home drunk she has to deal with the cartoons on the walls and the toys everywhere, but most importantly the fake oven (remember those?)
The poor girl tried cooking eggs in it while she was highly intoxicated.
There are very few people on the earth that can get me going so wildly and so outrageously that I literally clutch my eye and fall head first off the edge of my bed, phone in hand, and face in carpet - that's her.
She always makes my afternoons brighter. Te quierro!
Just picture me in the office, my door open and people are walking by and listening to my conversation.
I absolutely love talking to the bestest. Our relationship is odd. We have 6pm phone dates and I get mad when she doesn’t pick up the phone which leads to nasty homo voicemails “where the fuck are you…blah blah blah…I need you”
The bestest is my future roommate – she is probably the only person I can deal with and talk to about anything and she wouldn’t mind if I forced her to watch reruns of the Lword with me. She doesn’t know it yet. But she will sit on the couch and cry with me when I watch the scene where Dana is in the hospital dying.
I called her up today and asked her the usual Q&A…how’s everything, the boy and the sex and well you know…everything. After a while I asked about her living situation and she burst out “ I’m like Dora the explorer”. I thought it was the most amusing thing I’ve ever heard. 1) She is the whitest girl from Staten Island and 2) Dora is Mexican/Spanish/Puerto Rican – I don’t know. All I know is that she pulls out the spanglish out of her ass and expect tiny rugrats to learn Spanish. Maybe it works. Anyway, The bestest went on with her story about Dora and how her living situation is part-time day care and part-time living space (her mom owns a daycare) and so when she comes home drunk she has to deal with the cartoons on the walls and the toys everywhere, but most importantly the fake oven (remember those?)
The poor girl tried cooking eggs in it while she was highly intoxicated.
There are very few people on the earth that can get me going so wildly and so outrageously that I literally clutch my eye and fall head first off the edge of my bed, phone in hand, and face in carpet - that's her.
She always makes my afternoons brighter. Te quierro!
i made your link list!! **sniffle**tear**