Relationships and then some...
Thursday, August 2, 2007
I have been told that other people do not think about the possibility of their relationship ending every single day. Then again, I have been told I seem like a really great girlfriend, so who the hell knows what to believe.
In any case, when I was in a relationship, I remember at least three times a week, I thought that the Pearl and I were going to break up.
Example: Whenever we had a chance to talk during the week and the conversations would go sour at the slight tone of one of us - CERTAIN OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS OVER.
Naturally, I then never wanted to have sex. DISASTER.
Then, when she would be super quiet on the drive to the Metro North. Probably because she was thinking about how she didn't love me anymore. MORE DISASTER.
I then spent the entire train ride home telling myself that single life can be fun, and though there would be the minor problem of living together to sort out, in general breaking up with the Pearl really wouldn’t be that bad.Then I realized I was insane.
This is a realization I have come to before, most notably when I got annoyed with the Pearl for telling me I was beautiful because what if she couldn't love me once I was old?
It's was really exhausting to love the Pearl and be happy while at the same time trying to convince myself it would be totally fine if she were gone.
In any case, when I was in a relationship, I remember at least three times a week, I thought that the Pearl and I were going to break up.
Example: Whenever we had a chance to talk during the week and the conversations would go sour at the slight tone of one of us - CERTAIN OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS OVER.
Naturally, I then never wanted to have sex. DISASTER.
Then, when she would be super quiet on the drive to the Metro North. Probably because she was thinking about how she didn't love me anymore. MORE DISASTER.
I then spent the entire train ride home telling myself that single life can be fun, and though there would be the minor problem of living together to sort out, in general breaking up with the Pearl really wouldn’t be that bad.Then I realized I was insane.
This is a realization I have come to before, most notably when I got annoyed with the Pearl for telling me I was beautiful because what if she couldn't love me once I was old?
It's was really exhausting to love the Pearl and be happy while at the same time trying to convince myself it would be totally fine if she were gone.
