Her
Friday, May 30, 2008
There is a pretty young lady who caught my eye about a few months ago. Things are progressively going slower than I thought. I always thought I could “get” anyone I wanted but alas, clearly I am not able to this time - or ever.
I always write about the people I have crushes on and to some extent, it keeps my blog alive. This time though, I don’t think I can possibly speak about the women in my life. For the first time, I am concentrated on one person…nothing seem to be alive around me, the clocks stop ticking, the seasons remain the same, life itself blossoms as my heartbeat remains at its slowest pace. I have been on this ride for quite a while now and I just can’t push to the stop button just yet, even when I know it can’t possibly go anywhere. I have this one desire and it is to stay on that rollercoaster in the loops, feeling that warm breeze as I am frozen with fear because I will never be able to continue the ride. And so, I stay glued to my seat awaiting a moment that will bring constant warmth to my heart.
I am not someone who pressures and pushes people into making a life altering decision. I don’t bother asking to bask in their world. She, like every girl I grow fond of happen to admire the opposite sex which leaves me with a big “no-no, she is straight” thought. I keep telling myself that there will never be anything good coming out of it. One of us will have a blistering heart. I know it. Its all been said once before. I don’t want to repeat history - especially when it involves me scrapping off my broken heart from the cold concrete of reality. I can’t seem to learn. Repetition is my forte. I keep putting myself in these uncertain situations and I can’t escape them.
There, you have it….lost and delirious.
I always write about the people I have crushes on and to some extent, it keeps my blog alive. This time though, I don’t think I can possibly speak about the women in my life. For the first time, I am concentrated on one person…nothing seem to be alive around me, the clocks stop ticking, the seasons remain the same, life itself blossoms as my heartbeat remains at its slowest pace. I have been on this ride for quite a while now and I just can’t push to the stop button just yet, even when I know it can’t possibly go anywhere. I have this one desire and it is to stay on that rollercoaster in the loops, feeling that warm breeze as I am frozen with fear because I will never be able to continue the ride. And so, I stay glued to my seat awaiting a moment that will bring constant warmth to my heart.
I am not someone who pressures and pushes people into making a life altering decision. I don’t bother asking to bask in their world. She, like every girl I grow fond of happen to admire the opposite sex which leaves me with a big “no-no, she is straight” thought. I keep telling myself that there will never be anything good coming out of it. One of us will have a blistering heart. I know it. Its all been said once before. I don’t want to repeat history - especially when it involves me scrapping off my broken heart from the cold concrete of reality. I can’t seem to learn. Repetition is my forte. I keep putting myself in these uncertain situations and I can’t escape them.
There, you have it….lost and delirious.
