Yep. It's friday
Friday, July 20, 2007
I’m forever in search of new material to write about. While, yes, I consider my life to be relatively interesting in some respects, one’s dysfunctional relationships can only provide so much amusement to people who should really be finishing up that Excel spreadsheet before 5:00 p.m. I wrote a 40 page manifesto on the Art of Putting on One’s Socks, but decided not to publish it because there turned out to be too many big words and I was afraid that you illiterates wouldn’t be able to follow it. Having a large vocabulary is a blessing and a curse.
People often ask me what type of women I date. So…I thought, yes!!! This would be a perfect blog post. It got to me to thinking. Do I have a type? And, if so, who is she? I feel that I owe it to you, dear readers, in case you’re out there wondering, well, really, have I got a shot with NYC.Lezie? Let me just clear that up for you right now.Probably not. Well, not unless you're Angelina Jolie. Or Heidi Klum circa 1998.
Assuming that you’ve dried your tears by now, let me just tell you that you shouldn’t take it personally. For the same reason that I found online dating just too creepy to really give it a go, the idea of dating a blog reader is awkward. I mean, let’s assume that you and I get married. What do we tell our grandchildren?
"Honey, I met your nana after I swooned for weeks over her publicly written bad love life decisions. Reading about her inability to find a long-term relationship just got me so hot and bothered that I couldn’t help myself."
You can see now why it’s never going to work between you and I. It’s something that we just have to accept. And... well... we’ll always have a connection here.But I digress.
My type. I pondered this for a while- until lunch of course. So here it goes:
Accents. Yes, that’s right. NYC.Lezie is a sucker for a gorgeous girl with an accent. Doesn’t really matter from where, other than Asia. I am not too fond of the Asian Accent. Well, no, that’s not true. I don’t have anything against Asians. I did, however, once fall head over heels for good-looking ½ Asian lass who got the nickname gym-addict (seriously). We dated for a little while. She insisted that we remain friends and so we are. Now, by and large, I’m not particularly good at remaining friends with women after dating them. It’s just that whole, "I’ve seen you naked and now I have to look at you with your clothes on?" thing.
A quick look back at my ex-girlfriends reveals a sort of who’s who of a very narrow view of the world beyond the U.S. France. U.S. Italy. France. U.S. Norwegian. Irish. Polish. And I’m not even counting the Canadian girl whom I was so in love with but she was weird and the fling only lasted a date.
Height. I was 5’4” at the age of 12, and then stopped growing. Being the height that I am, I’ve never felt truly comfortable around short girls. Dating somebody too small just doesn’t feel right, exactly. Most of my girlfriends have been around 5’5” minimum, and The Pearl is around is 5’9” or so. Then again, there are exceptions. Hope is about 5’1”. And I’ve dated girls below the You Must Be This Tall to Ride NYC.Lezie minimum. But not often. I just feel weird dating a girl who fits into my over the shoulder gym bag.
Hair Color / Complexion. Now, dating somebody based on the color of their hair does seem vaguely retarded to me. But whatever. The point of keeping this blog in the first place is to be completely honest. I’m a relatively swarthy lady: vaguely Mediterannean looking (I wish), with Light sandy hair and the most piercing green eyes you’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s an opposites attract kind of thing. But most of my girlfriends / romantic pursuits tend to be blonde with amazing tanned skin. but I don’t know, I just figure that having a girlfriend tanner than me could possibly lead to competition, and that’s unhealthy in relationships. And, I’ve dated one redhead. Most people don’t even know her. There’s something about freckles that just kind of gets me going – I have a secret crush on Lindsay Lohan.
Religion. I was raised Catholic, and extremely proud of my heritage. But, my parents are children of the ‘60s and I was brought up to distrust organized religion. So there, sue me.I guess this is another opposites attract thing.
WASP-y girls do tend to turn me on more. And, as a female friend once told me, every girl in New York secretly (or not so secretly) wants a Jewish partner – but I am not even close to being a Jew (so there goes my chance).But everybody’s at least half Jewish anyway, so what difference does religion make?
Body Type. Somebody recently asked me what part of a woman’s anatomy I prefer. Am I breast kinda gal? Legs girl? Ass girl? And so on. I was kind of surprised by the question. I’m really kind of an overall package woman - And a sucker for a pretty face. Although I will admit to once being really attracted to a woman just because she had really toned forearms. It was pretty sexy how the light blonde hair of her forceps fell naturally over her extremely in shape arms. Maybe I need help.And, I will just state that I’m not one of those ladies who turns away in disgust at a woman who’s not in perfect gym-esque shape. There’s actually something quite sexy about a woman who has curves. It signifies a zest for life, a love of food and drink, a desire to partake of all of the joys that experience has to offer and, besides, I’m not exactly Gisele or Heidi myself. I could probably stand to lose about 15 pounds myself (post-beer). And I once dated a model who was so skinny that I could literally pick her up with one arm. It was pretty weird. The Writer and I had many, many laughs over that one.
Profession. Being a creative type, if you work in the financial industries sector, I just don’t see it working out between us. Now, maybe I’m being judgmental, but when people say my job doesn’t define me, I immediately think that’s probably because they hate their job. Or themselves. Our professions do make up a significant part of who we are, if only because we spend so much time doing them. And i-banking is right below kicking puppies on the ethically dubious scale.
There are other professions of people I tend to shy away from, but that’s just because they tend to be fields that don’t allow for lots of vacation time. Lawyers. People who work at big computer places. Two weeks per year? What the hell? Or too much vacation time – slackers, trainers, slackers, trainers, slackers. Now, if I had any brains, I would probably find a sugar mama who does one of those things. Oh, and one other career I tend to shy away from: activists
Now, before you fire off hate mail and / or leave a nasty comment, this has just been my experience. I know many wonderful activist, but I just couldn’t date them.Things That Don’t Matter. This is really a question of taste.
As you may’ve gathered from this blog, I have a love for the Arts. I don’t expect my girlfriend to share that with me. I once dated a girl who hated Art (absolutely found no purpose in Art), Which one may consider immediate grounds for breaking up with. But, really, who am I to judge? Also, I don’t really care about how stylish a woman is. Sure, there’s nothing sexier than a woman who knows how to look stunning for a night out and can really make her clothes and makeup work for her. But there’s also something about a girl who fills out a pair of jeans perfectly. Basically, I dated a total frump who was a demon in bed. So, again... this gets a pass.
A Very Important Thing. Intelligence plays a big role in my search for my next potential dater. I like brain- it turns me on. If you know Satre, Flaubert, Aristotle then we are a perfect match made in heaven.So, in a nutshell, that’s it. Feel free to tell me how shallow and self-absorbed I am. I love the attention.
People often ask me what type of women I date. So…I thought, yes!!! This would be a perfect blog post. It got to me to thinking. Do I have a type? And, if so, who is she? I feel that I owe it to you, dear readers, in case you’re out there wondering, well, really, have I got a shot with NYC.Lezie? Let me just clear that up for you right now.Probably not. Well, not unless you're Angelina Jolie. Or Heidi Klum circa 1998.
Assuming that you’ve dried your tears by now, let me just tell you that you shouldn’t take it personally. For the same reason that I found online dating just too creepy to really give it a go, the idea of dating a blog reader is awkward. I mean, let’s assume that you and I get married. What do we tell our grandchildren?
"Honey, I met your nana after I swooned for weeks over her publicly written bad love life decisions. Reading about her inability to find a long-term relationship just got me so hot and bothered that I couldn’t help myself."
You can see now why it’s never going to work between you and I. It’s something that we just have to accept. And... well... we’ll always have a connection here.But I digress.
My type. I pondered this for a while- until lunch of course. So here it goes:
Accents. Yes, that’s right. NYC.Lezie is a sucker for a gorgeous girl with an accent. Doesn’t really matter from where, other than Asia. I am not too fond of the Asian Accent. Well, no, that’s not true. I don’t have anything against Asians. I did, however, once fall head over heels for good-looking ½ Asian lass who got the nickname gym-addict (seriously). We dated for a little while. She insisted that we remain friends and so we are. Now, by and large, I’m not particularly good at remaining friends with women after dating them. It’s just that whole, "I’ve seen you naked and now I have to look at you with your clothes on?" thing.
A quick look back at my ex-girlfriends reveals a sort of who’s who of a very narrow view of the world beyond the U.S. France. U.S. Italy. France. U.S. Norwegian. Irish. Polish. And I’m not even counting the Canadian girl whom I was so in love with but she was weird and the fling only lasted a date.
Height. I was 5’4” at the age of 12, and then stopped growing. Being the height that I am, I’ve never felt truly comfortable around short girls. Dating somebody too small just doesn’t feel right, exactly. Most of my girlfriends have been around 5’5” minimum, and The Pearl is around is 5’9” or so. Then again, there are exceptions. Hope is about 5’1”. And I’ve dated girls below the You Must Be This Tall to Ride NYC.Lezie minimum. But not often. I just feel weird dating a girl who fits into my over the shoulder gym bag.
Hair Color / Complexion. Now, dating somebody based on the color of their hair does seem vaguely retarded to me. But whatever. The point of keeping this blog in the first place is to be completely honest. I’m a relatively swarthy lady: vaguely Mediterannean looking (I wish), with Light sandy hair and the most piercing green eyes you’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s an opposites attract kind of thing. But most of my girlfriends / romantic pursuits tend to be blonde with amazing tanned skin. but I don’t know, I just figure that having a girlfriend tanner than me could possibly lead to competition, and that’s unhealthy in relationships. And, I’ve dated one redhead. Most people don’t even know her. There’s something about freckles that just kind of gets me going – I have a secret crush on Lindsay Lohan.
Religion. I was raised Catholic, and extremely proud of my heritage. But, my parents are children of the ‘60s and I was brought up to distrust organized religion. So there, sue me.I guess this is another opposites attract thing.
WASP-y girls do tend to turn me on more. And, as a female friend once told me, every girl in New York secretly (or not so secretly) wants a Jewish partner – but I am not even close to being a Jew (so there goes my chance).But everybody’s at least half Jewish anyway, so what difference does religion make?
Body Type. Somebody recently asked me what part of a woman’s anatomy I prefer. Am I breast kinda gal? Legs girl? Ass girl? And so on. I was kind of surprised by the question. I’m really kind of an overall package woman - And a sucker for a pretty face. Although I will admit to once being really attracted to a woman just because she had really toned forearms. It was pretty sexy how the light blonde hair of her forceps fell naturally over her extremely in shape arms. Maybe I need help.And, I will just state that I’m not one of those ladies who turns away in disgust at a woman who’s not in perfect gym-esque shape. There’s actually something quite sexy about a woman who has curves. It signifies a zest for life, a love of food and drink, a desire to partake of all of the joys that experience has to offer and, besides, I’m not exactly Gisele or Heidi myself. I could probably stand to lose about 15 pounds myself (post-beer). And I once dated a model who was so skinny that I could literally pick her up with one arm. It was pretty weird. The Writer and I had many, many laughs over that one.
Profession. Being a creative type, if you work in the financial industries sector, I just don’t see it working out between us. Now, maybe I’m being judgmental, but when people say my job doesn’t define me, I immediately think that’s probably because they hate their job. Or themselves. Our professions do make up a significant part of who we are, if only because we spend so much time doing them. And i-banking is right below kicking puppies on the ethically dubious scale.
There are other professions of people I tend to shy away from, but that’s just because they tend to be fields that don’t allow for lots of vacation time. Lawyers. People who work at big computer places. Two weeks per year? What the hell? Or too much vacation time – slackers, trainers, slackers, trainers, slackers. Now, if I had any brains, I would probably find a sugar mama who does one of those things. Oh, and one other career I tend to shy away from: activists
Now, before you fire off hate mail and / or leave a nasty comment, this has just been my experience. I know many wonderful activist, but I just couldn’t date them.Things That Don’t Matter. This is really a question of taste.
As you may’ve gathered from this blog, I have a love for the Arts. I don’t expect my girlfriend to share that with me. I once dated a girl who hated Art (absolutely found no purpose in Art), Which one may consider immediate grounds for breaking up with. But, really, who am I to judge? Also, I don’t really care about how stylish a woman is. Sure, there’s nothing sexier than a woman who knows how to look stunning for a night out and can really make her clothes and makeup work for her. But there’s also something about a girl who fills out a pair of jeans perfectly. Basically, I dated a total frump who was a demon in bed. So, again... this gets a pass.
A Very Important Thing. Intelligence plays a big role in my search for my next potential dater. I like brain- it turns me on. If you know Satre, Flaubert, Aristotle then we are a perfect match made in heaven.So, in a nutshell, that’s it. Feel free to tell me how shallow and self-absorbed I am. I love the attention.
