The Ex is a Douche
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
I am starting to think that I should start a blog with the title “My Ex-Girlfriend is a Little Bitch”. There would have been ample material to update every week--on some occasion’s daily. We've recently stopped talking. Or, to be more specific, I stopped talking to her months ago. She has started to text me randomly, which I guess involves some amount of speaking- sorry, typing on her part but mostly it's me ignoring her pitiable attempts to upset me.
However, this is not exactly what relegates her to little bitchdom. What downgrades My Ex-Girlfriend to Little BitchdomEx-Girlfriend has had some crazy times at work. Unfortunately, she has a real job but is one of the company bitch. So she complains a lot and wants me to listen and be a friend. This is unfortunate because I am not one of those girls who can wish exes well. I wish them a lifetime of poverty and sexual abstinence. I kid, I kid.
She finds occasion to whine about everything endlessly in a 5-minute phone call. After a cursory glance at the caller ID on my phone, I find that the call was largely due to a horrid day at work/girlfriend issues, roommates’ drama. It is highly unlikely that a misogynistic douche-bag would suddenly find the time and motivation to go out and make horde of female friends that come over and chastely play a dyke game of Pong. One can only conclude that I have made it onto the list-serve entitled "Girls I am Fucking or Would Like to Fuck or even better – girls I pretend to be friends with" hereafter referred to as GIFWLF.
On these GIFWLF calls, lines are often included to target a specific girl/issue (and I suppose to reassure to me that she is in fact a little carpet muncher - eww) such as "that girl is so hot" or "ugh, she lives so far, I can’t be in a relationship with someone I can’t see". I tried to make myself feel better for a bit by pretending that the whole operation was a clever way to get under my skin. However, I am not that easily manipulated, even by my own self. The truth is I have left the confines of a serious relationship to enter Ex-girlfriends harem, which includes one other ex- and short-term projects.
My presence on the GIFWLF call list insults me, but in a horrible girly way that no lesbian’s logic could comprehend. This is partly my fault for refusing to accept that any girl I have slept with could actually be a misogynistic douche-bag with no redeeming qualities.
But I think I'm coming around to the idea.
However, this is not exactly what relegates her to little bitchdom. What downgrades My Ex-Girlfriend to Little BitchdomEx-Girlfriend has had some crazy times at work. Unfortunately, she has a real job but is one of the company bitch. So she complains a lot and wants me to listen and be a friend. This is unfortunate because I am not one of those girls who can wish exes well. I wish them a lifetime of poverty and sexual abstinence. I kid, I kid.
She finds occasion to whine about everything endlessly in a 5-minute phone call. After a cursory glance at the caller ID on my phone, I find that the call was largely due to a horrid day at work/girlfriend issues, roommates’ drama. It is highly unlikely that a misogynistic douche-bag would suddenly find the time and motivation to go out and make horde of female friends that come over and chastely play a dyke game of Pong. One can only conclude that I have made it onto the list-serve entitled "Girls I am Fucking or Would Like to Fuck or even better – girls I pretend to be friends with" hereafter referred to as GIFWLF.
On these GIFWLF calls, lines are often included to target a specific girl/issue (and I suppose to reassure to me that she is in fact a little carpet muncher - eww) such as "that girl is so hot" or "ugh, she lives so far, I can’t be in a relationship with someone I can’t see". I tried to make myself feel better for a bit by pretending that the whole operation was a clever way to get under my skin. However, I am not that easily manipulated, even by my own self. The truth is I have left the confines of a serious relationship to enter Ex-girlfriends harem, which includes one other ex- and short-term projects.
My presence on the GIFWLF call list insults me, but in a horrible girly way that no lesbian’s logic could comprehend. This is partly my fault for refusing to accept that any girl I have slept with could actually be a misogynistic douche-bag with no redeeming qualities.
But I think I'm coming around to the idea.
Ummm... Haven't I told you a million times to stop talking to her? If not-- STOP TALKING TO HER!!
Cause what usually happens is-- I get a phone call afterwards of YOU complaining of what she was talking about. You see the trend here?? j/k but seriously- it's time let go.
Tiff - I know. I have. I dont talk to her anymore. seriously the last time was when she was like "wanna grab birthday drinks" remember how pissed off I was. ugh. she pisses me off.