Pussy Status
Monday, July 2, 2007
There is a CEO who...terrifies me. Scares the shit out of me. Makes me want to hide underneath my desk.He is blonde with a very cute boyish smile that he only uses when delivering bad news. When he makes (what I think are) jokes, he does not smile at all. Sometimes he will laugh, which I believe is intended to be reassuring but is actually frightening since he has mastered the strange art of laughing without smiling.
Jokes include:"I don't see why your position isn't part-time."
"You're saying you sent that e-mail? I'm saying you're a liar."
"You are completely useless to this company."
Thankfully, none of these have been directed at me. Maybe he senses I am fragile or a bitch from NY. He does, however, issue vague yet urgent directives which I run around trying to complete without asking for clarification because he is so fucking scary. For example: At 10:00 this morning, CEO told me to get some sales figures. The actual words out of his mouth were "You know how to run that sales report for 2006? I need it for this meeting." He then marched out of my "office" leaving me with the thoughts: What meeting? Which sales report? What the fuck?When he left,
I had a fit of panic and figured I could just get all the sales figures for all our ads. I am just now realizing this is a stupid, stupid plan, and I need to go ask him what exactly he needs the figures for. Unfortunately for me, an hour has passed since his request and so I will appear either retarded or lazy. Instead of dealing with the situation I am writing this, further compounding the problem.
I know, I am a total pussy
Jokes include:"I don't see why your position isn't part-time."
"You're saying you sent that e-mail? I'm saying you're a liar."
"You are completely useless to this company."
Thankfully, none of these have been directed at me. Maybe he senses I am fragile or a bitch from NY. He does, however, issue vague yet urgent directives which I run around trying to complete without asking for clarification because he is so fucking scary. For example: At 10:00 this morning, CEO told me to get some sales figures. The actual words out of his mouth were "You know how to run that sales report for 2006? I need it for this meeting." He then marched out of my "office" leaving me with the thoughts: What meeting? Which sales report? What the fuck?When he left,
I had a fit of panic and figured I could just get all the sales figures for all our ads. I am just now realizing this is a stupid, stupid plan, and I need to go ask him what exactly he needs the figures for. Unfortunately for me, an hour has passed since his request and so I will appear either retarded or lazy. Instead of dealing with the situation I am writing this, further compounding the problem.
I know, I am a total pussy
oh you are total pussy galore honey.
I sure am