Showing posts with label E-Mails. Show all posts
Showing posts with label E-Mails. Show all posts

Emailing the Ex.

Sometimes, late at night, when I’m tired, I get kind of loopy. It’s a little bit like being drunk. I get sentimental, and can be prone to doing things like calling people, sending text messages that are hopefully slicker than the ones I get from [annoying texter] or emailing people that I not only really shouldn’t, but saying things that I should probably wait until morning for in order to make sure that the content won't embarrass me.

It’s the drunken equivalent of sending a late night text message to some girl who broke up with you and telling her that you love her or you want to come over to her place. Except that, instead of alcohol, it's just me running on far too little sleep.Needless to say, doing things like this is not always a smart move.

Friday night, I was absolutely exhausted. I don’t always get a lot of sleep from Monday through Friday and this week has been no exception. It’s been work, work, work and more work.Before going to bed sometime after 1:00 a.m., I was so tired that I was almost dizzy.

Having a late night coffee (it helps me fall asleep – believe it or not), I began typing the names of people from my past into the search function of myspace. Now, looking at profiles on myspace is a bit different than on other sites, primarily because you can’t see somebody’s contacts unless you’re already friends with them or their profile isn’t blocked. And as far as pictures, if you are not friends and they are blocked you can only see their first picture – which initially isn’t that bad.You may not be surprised to find out that my second grade teacher isn’t on myspace.

But, amongst somebody else from my past whom I’m not going to mention because I haven’t told that story yet, I found E. her profile features a cute picture of her and her niece. Smiling. As her hair is being whipped about by the wind.

And E. and I still haven’t been in touch for months – perhaps even years, really. It’s been about a year now since I last saw her. And checking out her profile made me miss her. And, as I said, I was seriously over tired. So, I thought about it for a second, and decided to shoot her an email. Hey, it never hurts to try (and try and try and try), right?Here’s what I wrote:

Hey

I know this may be a surprise or even a shock to you (as it was for me to grow a pair and actually write this) I had the occasion to chat with an old friend of ours – Aisha who asked for you. And so I wanted to say hello.

So hope all is well and best regards to your family.

Ciao,

NYC.Lezie

I sent it to an email address I had. And of course, the email bounced back. I figured she changed her email address and so, no luck. I really don’t want to send her a message over on myspace – I don’t want to seem like a loser.

The Kiss


I got an email this morning from The Writer with this. It is a poster every Lezzie had/has in their college dorm rooms. It is THE poster to have if you are into women. Her email says :
"Isn't this cute and simplistic and charming and absolutely adorable?"


and so I scrolled down and she added this picture with "Now, I don't know about you, but holy sweet jesus that's hot!"


Now...I really want to compare so stay with me here.
The original Kiss poster will remain my favorite until I die basically. There is something so simple and charming and cute about it. I love white things, tees, undies - it just looks so fresh and so clean. I love the girls in it...
Now the second picture is Hot in a very sexual way. I hate using the word "fucking" but that's the word that popped into my head when I saw it. Of course I was blushing because really it is hot. 1. they are topless and 2. they are little rockstar-ish with tattoos and funky haircuts and skimpy undies. They are obviously not your average Janes. but Oh Sweet Jesus!!!
ok I should stop. What do you guys think?

TLC Life Lessons

S ince I am pretty much stuck in front of the tv when I come home from my escapades I immediately turn on TLC. Its my “ok to be lame, just watch the 700lbs man and feel better about my life” And ever so often I stumbled upon the TLC’s Life Lessons. They are pretty funny but they make you wonder about your potentials to become one of those statues they have, which you can order over the phone.

My favorite besides the cat lady is the “Merlot and emails don’t mix”. It basically sums up my life. I drink and I pull the blackberry and start to email (because my ride home takes forever, I have to entertain myself in some ways) but for some reason I always delete the email before I send them. Secret #1 – its always to the same person. No its not the writer. But it is someone I care deeply about. I am not too sure if she reads this or one of her spies read my stuff and report it back to her (although, I wouldn’t care, since I do want her to read them and see that “hey, I am not so much of a bad person that she thinks I am” – right?) But anyway, the emails sometimes go like this :

I miss you….I miss being part of your life…I miss talking…I miss you…blah blah
blah
– simple, it’s a whole lot of I miss yous.

Or they go like this:

I wish you werent with that whore who stole you from me, I fucking hate the whole thing, I fucking hate this. Don’t you see what the hell is going on? no im not fucking crazy I just cant understand why it happened


Let me just say that if I ever pressed the tiny scroller and send any of these emails to her, I would be in a lot of problems. Actually, she’d probably think that I am crazy and that I need to get over her, which, truthfully I did but I wanted our last night to have been a little hott instead of tears. I should have just gone for the “last sex together, forever”.

Now I really wonder if she is reading.


So going back to my Merlot and the emails. Just after New Years, I had gone out with the architect to a hot spot down in the west village. Good food, good drink specials and 8 martinis later, I was home on the computer emailing her. Of course, it was never sent due to my lack of confidence (nowadays, she intimidates me- which makes the situations sexier) and fear of rejection (again from her). So I avoided the send button and instead saved it as a draft.


[Person’s name]

Better than chocolate, Milicent, 304, tennis matches, icy hot, whales, winter break, peanut butter and jelly crackers, Chesapeake Bay, paintings, thai, cookie cake, beach, bikes, nude, blackout, pesto sauce, tunnel, stick shift, dyke m., pride, Hens, Fridays at 12, movies, palisades, haircuts, puppies, soccer, strength, legs, neck, back, valentine’s day.

Remember me?


You see what Merlot does to you? And so I dare not send it. I guess like the first email I sent her 2 years ago about us being friends and her shutting me with a reply “we cant.” And including a whole Webster dictionary definition of the word friend, I think if I did send this over, it would be “fuck off” and a whole Webster dictionary definition of the word loser. I don’t think I can take anymore of it.

Plus, I don’t think I want her to know that I think about her from time to time or that I actually write letters and can’t send them for numerous reasons. I am pretty darn sure I don’t cross her mind or else she would have offered to grab a drink with me – her girlfriend could have joined. Oh yes, she has a girlfriend. I failed to mention it. Sorry.

It’s been a long time since I last saw her and the last time I did see her, we both ignored each other. I was probably intoxicated and she was definitely sober. The conversation wouldn’t have gone really far.

Me – “hey, what’s up? Still with the so called dyke?”

Her – walking away and pretending she didn’t hear me.