Peeks and Pokes and then some...
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
L ast night I ended up going home instead of going out to happy hour with the ladies. I was tired. I was drugged up on pills. No no… just tylenol PM pills. I figured I should just take them and head straight to bed – it worked.
Before I went to bed though, I check the blackberry for some last emails from work and to do some updating with my files. I stumbled upon an email from match.com. Let me tell you, after all these years (almost 3 now) I am still getting “my matches" in my inbox. It’s sort of a reminder that I am getting old and I am single and there are lots of decent (to my standards) looking people out there. So I should swim away and find me a pretty little fish in this big ocean.
To be honest, I met some of my really great friends online and so I hardly reject the “peeks” or “pokes” whatever Match.com does. I’m sure it’s one of those. So I was poked or someone peeked at my profile and as I am so adventurous (cough) I clicked and checked her out. Holy shit, I was on my (work) blackberry. I wonder if they have a way to check my online (naughty) activities. Hmm…
I absolutely dislike bitter people online. One of my biggest pet peeves are some of the lines they chose to write like “drama queens, needy chicks and complicated people need not apply, absolutely no baggage” always blew my mind. “Complicated people need not apply”? FYI, everyone is complicated, everyone has a little bit of baggage they are dragging and everyone (girls) are drama queens at least one day/week of every month.
Something else that bothers/ exasperates the fuck out of me (depending on my frame of mind) about online profiles? It’s how everyone seems to ride their bikes in Central Park, watch Indie movies, make Indie movies, go to benefit concerts, yoga or some shit, read all the books on the New York Times bestseller list (ok, I do), run marathons AND still enjoy their jobs as if you would score some extra points on the next potential peekers /pokers? I mean, it’s strenuous just reading about what busy lives they lead, not to mention quite intimidating – I just go to work and then happy hour and then some. I swear, if I ever see a profile where a girl says “I do nothing, really- some TV, some boozing with friends, some skimming /flagging of magazines, but mostly I just sit on the couch and do nothing”, I’ll fall in love in a second… That’s being honest. Telling me that you climbed Mount Everest is not getting you to third base darling, okay maybe up to second.
And because I don’t procrastinate my time with my Match account, I end up writing bad reviews on people’s Match profile. I should be a professional online dating website writer person. That’s what I do all day and apparently all-night. I read profiles and critique to the max. That’s a fabulous life.
Before I went to bed though, I check the blackberry for some last emails from work and to do some updating with my files. I stumbled upon an email from match.com. Let me tell you, after all these years (almost 3 now) I am still getting “my matches" in my inbox. It’s sort of a reminder that I am getting old and I am single and there are lots of decent (to my standards) looking people out there. So I should swim away and find me a pretty little fish in this big ocean.
To be honest, I met some of my really great friends online and so I hardly reject the “peeks” or “pokes” whatever Match.com does. I’m sure it’s one of those. So I was poked or someone peeked at my profile and as I am so adventurous (cough) I clicked and checked her out. Holy shit, I was on my (work) blackberry. I wonder if they have a way to check my online (naughty) activities. Hmm…
I absolutely dislike bitter people online. One of my biggest pet peeves are some of the lines they chose to write like “drama queens, needy chicks and complicated people need not apply, absolutely no baggage” always blew my mind. “Complicated people need not apply”? FYI, everyone is complicated, everyone has a little bit of baggage they are dragging and everyone (girls) are drama queens at least one day/week of every month.
Something else that bothers/ exasperates the fuck out of me (depending on my frame of mind) about online profiles? It’s how everyone seems to ride their bikes in Central Park, watch Indie movies, make Indie movies, go to benefit concerts, yoga or some shit, read all the books on the New York Times bestseller list (ok, I do), run marathons AND still enjoy their jobs as if you would score some extra points on the next potential peekers /pokers? I mean, it’s strenuous just reading about what busy lives they lead, not to mention quite intimidating – I just go to work and then happy hour and then some. I swear, if I ever see a profile where a girl says “I do nothing, really- some TV, some boozing with friends, some skimming /flagging of magazines, but mostly I just sit on the couch and do nothing”, I’ll fall in love in a second… That’s being honest. Telling me that you climbed Mount Everest is not getting you to third base darling, okay maybe up to second.
And because I don’t procrastinate my time with my Match account, I end up writing bad reviews on people’s Match profile. I should be a professional online dating website writer person. That’s what I do all day and apparently all-night. I read profiles and critique to the max. That’s a fabulous life.
