Rebound Relationships
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
At some point in our lives, we all have been guilty of having one or two rebound relationships. Rebounds are a safe way for us to let go of the person we were with and also an easier way to get our minds off of the ex.
But is a good thing?
I guess it depends on each person. Whether you like having someone there to constantly remind you that you are loved, or having someone there to make you feel better about being alone. Either way, to me, I think is ludicrous. It's like a puppy that needs constant love.
The other night I was having dinner with the writer, and we spoke about rebound girlfriends. We both admitted to having these affairs but we would have never admitted such actions at the time. I don’t think someone can sit here and say, yes, I kinda feel lonely; I want to be with someone…just for the hell of it. I sort of brush the subject to the side. I've had a few. I've had enough relationships to realize what is wrong and what is right.
It is called growth.
After each break ups, I found myself yearning for the same attraction and passion I shared with an ex, and to me, the only way I can end my search is to be with someone, not because I care about them but because I want to satisfy that hunger.
I think there might be a general rule of “how long you can stay single before you get involved with someone else”. I guess people would agree with me, the longer you wait, the better you will feel about yourself. You learn your faults and you look back at your previous relationship and see what went wrong. I think breaks (right after a break-up) are made for that.
Jumping from one relationship to another is like setting yourself up for another breakup because you are just going to repeat the same mistakes you've made with the ex. And it becomes a pattern.
I am neither a psychologist nor a therapist, but it doesn't take a genius to realize that people repeat the same mistakes when they don't sit down and think.
Jumping from one relationship to another is not a smart thing to do. It just proves to others that you are not happy being alone. There is nothing wrong with being alone. I think people need to be alone sometimes. It clears the mind. I am all for taking breaks.
I guess everyone moves on differently. Some fast and easy and others slowly.
"It takes no time to fall in love, but it takes you years to know what love is..."
so…
…Can I get an AMEN!
But is a good thing?
I guess it depends on each person. Whether you like having someone there to constantly remind you that you are loved, or having someone there to make you feel better about being alone. Either way, to me, I think is ludicrous. It's like a puppy that needs constant love.
The other night I was having dinner with the writer, and we spoke about rebound girlfriends. We both admitted to having these affairs but we would have never admitted such actions at the time. I don’t think someone can sit here and say, yes, I kinda feel lonely; I want to be with someone…just for the hell of it. I sort of brush the subject to the side. I've had a few. I've had enough relationships to realize what is wrong and what is right.
It is called growth.
After each break ups, I found myself yearning for the same attraction and passion I shared with an ex, and to me, the only way I can end my search is to be with someone, not because I care about them but because I want to satisfy that hunger.
I think there might be a general rule of “how long you can stay single before you get involved with someone else”. I guess people would agree with me, the longer you wait, the better you will feel about yourself. You learn your faults and you look back at your previous relationship and see what went wrong. I think breaks (right after a break-up) are made for that.
Jumping from one relationship to another is like setting yourself up for another breakup because you are just going to repeat the same mistakes you've made with the ex. And it becomes a pattern.
I am neither a psychologist nor a therapist, but it doesn't take a genius to realize that people repeat the same mistakes when they don't sit down and think.
Jumping from one relationship to another is not a smart thing to do. It just proves to others that you are not happy being alone. There is nothing wrong with being alone. I think people need to be alone sometimes. It clears the mind. I am all for taking breaks.
I guess everyone moves on differently. Some fast and easy and others slowly.
"It takes no time to fall in love, but it takes you years to know what love is..."
so…
…Can I get an AMEN!
Hi! I think it is just an act of covering up the void from a lost partner. I think it's kinda unfair for the new one because they are just like refills to the lost love. And that the feelings is ain't true. (this comment apply to most but not to all)
I am going to switch my name now to "thewriter".
xo
maureen- I agree with you. Its really hard on the next partner. espacially if you are still hung up on the ex flame.
Lauren - haha...yes darling. but I need full credit. xo
Hello!
Have you received any mail from me asking about having an exchange link? So would you agree to that? Just erase this comment.
Maureen- nope. not yet.
I completly concur and I could probably name ten peope/ friends/ acquaintances that have an addiction to serial monogomy. It seems like a very comfortable trap to fall into especially for lesbians. But honestly it doesn't make sense its like being in a play with out anintermission.
I guess you didn't receive my mail. But would you agree to a exchange link with me?