Weekend Debauchery
Friday, June 1, 2007
Oh Good Lord it is Friday!!!! Not much is planned for the weekend but so far here is what I have…
Tonight – Super cool outing with a bunch of my straight girlies – staying local (McFads in midtown and probably finish the night at Saloon on the Upper East)
Saturday – Heading to my first tennis practice after the Hospital incident. For those of you who don’t know, I do play tennis for a certain country. Right now, I am probably the worst player in the league but who cares…it’s fun and I get to travel…Really gay huh?!? That’s usually how I get my ladies. I swing a little “I play tennis, I moan and sweat, wanna see me play” not exactly using these words…but ya get my drift.
Sunday – scored some major Mets tickets, kick ass seats right behind 3rd base. Sweeeeet. I will be boozing with my pops and stuffing my face with chips and hot dogs.
Everyone I know (NJ peeps) are heading to the Asbury Pride this Sunday and I will be watching a sweet game at Shea. I am not a huge fan of Pride. Every year it is the exact same response. I get really excited about it because I get to be around other GLBTs and it feels like home and every year I get disappointed.
When I came out in HS, It was a brand new beginning- new persona…gay belt around my waist, bandana rainbow flag tightly wrapped on my head, rainbow bracelets safely worn around my wrists and any other paraphernalia that will show that “yes I am gay”- I would stand among other GLBT and show my pride with screams which can be heard across the river.
Now, 8 years after my first tentative steps from the closet, I don't find Pride festivals as significant anymore. First of all – I don’t bear any of the old gay gear; I just show up, drink and be merry. I don’t need to tell people that I am who am anymore. That phase of wearing everything gay is long gone.
Every year I tell myself that I will not go to Pride because I don’t see a point and clearly I get bored with the same floats. I still manage to go, for no other reason than to be counted and of course to see the dykes on bikes and PFLAG.
BUT BUT BUT Excuse me while I don my bitter hat -- Pride Parades lately seem much more about see-and-be-seen than an actual expression of individual or group pride. Sometimes I think it's really just a huge cruise-fest, where generally attractive women/men remove their shirts in their bids for attention while less "attractive" women are all too happy to lavish such attention on them. (I use "attractive" in a community standards sense of the word, which is horrible, because gay community standards are ridiculous.) Sure, lesbians are proud of being lesbians... and gays are proud to be gay.
Once upon a time, I went to Pride because I wanted to be among people who didn't make me feel like a freak, an outsider, a pariah. I no longer feel like an outcast every day. Sometimes, though, one comes to miss the affirmation -- the kind that comes only to the insecure -- when one has truly become comfortable with the skin she's in.I am not against being naked and showering oneself with bottled water while floating in the air and barely wearing undies. But is that showing pride?
Tonight – Super cool outing with a bunch of my straight girlies – staying local (McFads in midtown and probably finish the night at Saloon on the Upper East)
Saturday – Heading to my first tennis practice after the Hospital incident. For those of you who don’t know, I do play tennis for a certain country. Right now, I am probably the worst player in the league but who cares…it’s fun and I get to travel…Really gay huh?!? That’s usually how I get my ladies. I swing a little “I play tennis, I moan and sweat, wanna see me play” not exactly using these words…but ya get my drift.
Sunday – scored some major Mets tickets, kick ass seats right behind 3rd base. Sweeeeet. I will be boozing with my pops and stuffing my face with chips and hot dogs.
Everyone I know (NJ peeps) are heading to the Asbury Pride this Sunday and I will be watching a sweet game at Shea. I am not a huge fan of Pride. Every year it is the exact same response. I get really excited about it because I get to be around other GLBTs and it feels like home and every year I get disappointed.
When I came out in HS, It was a brand new beginning- new persona…gay belt around my waist, bandana rainbow flag tightly wrapped on my head, rainbow bracelets safely worn around my wrists and any other paraphernalia that will show that “yes I am gay”- I would stand among other GLBT and show my pride with screams which can be heard across the river.
Now, 8 years after my first tentative steps from the closet, I don't find Pride festivals as significant anymore. First of all – I don’t bear any of the old gay gear; I just show up, drink and be merry. I don’t need to tell people that I am who am anymore. That phase of wearing everything gay is long gone.
Every year I tell myself that I will not go to Pride because I don’t see a point and clearly I get bored with the same floats. I still manage to go, for no other reason than to be counted and of course to see the dykes on bikes and PFLAG.
BUT BUT BUT Excuse me while I don my bitter hat -- Pride Parades lately seem much more about see-and-be-seen than an actual expression of individual or group pride. Sometimes I think it's really just a huge cruise-fest, where generally attractive women/men remove their shirts in their bids for attention while less "attractive" women are all too happy to lavish such attention on them. (I use "attractive" in a community standards sense of the word, which is horrible, because gay community standards are ridiculous.) Sure, lesbians are proud of being lesbians... and gays are proud to be gay.
Once upon a time, I went to Pride because I wanted to be among people who didn't make me feel like a freak, an outsider, a pariah. I no longer feel like an outcast every day. Sometimes, though, one comes to miss the affirmation -- the kind that comes only to the insecure -- when one has truly become comfortable with the skin she's in.I am not against being naked and showering oneself with bottled water while floating in the air and barely wearing undies. But is that showing pride?
Ill see you at the game