Restlessness
Monday, June 25, 2007
I feel some restlessness which is a result of loneliness right now or clearly it's PMS. Instead of going out and slamming back alcohol and fixing my boobs or my ass all night, I threw myself a pity party, with me acting as the guest of honor. It was one of those nights that no matter how many people I made laugh, or grabbing dinner with co-workers after work for a few hours, it just wasn’t enough, and it failed to provide me with a feeling of security and distraction from my emotional roller coaster last week. Sitting in front of the computer for hours taking screen shots, didn’t help my mood either.
As this past Friday afternoon rolled around, and although my body craved the effects from a bottle of ice cold champagne, and my mind needed a friend seated across me in an outdoor café, I realized that there wasn’t anyone who fit the mood available. Either my closest friends don’t live near me, my friends who live here are in relationships where the ass is plentiful and the Friday evening plans are “We’re staying home and watching the 10pm news-sorry”, or my laziness won out and I didn’t feel like putting forth an effort to have a conversation with someone except for The German, I always like our conversations.
That’s what makes afternoons in cafes so special. You tend to want to be seated across the person or persons at the table, and the wine in front of you is there as a prop to loosen tongues instead of acting as a vehicle of social lubrication. Very few people are absolute pleasures to be around, where the friendship is so comfortable that neither one takes offense to the inevitable silence, instead the break is seen as kismet, both parties taking a break at the same time, instead of simultaneously having run out of things to say.
It’s nights like those which reminds me why I am ready to leave my house. I just hope that my homesickness won't leave me romanticizing an already strained relationship with my life in NJ. Because, a relationship that sucks, is a relationship that sucks, no matter how unsure the prospect of a new one is on the horizon.
As this past Friday afternoon rolled around, and although my body craved the effects from a bottle of ice cold champagne, and my mind needed a friend seated across me in an outdoor café, I realized that there wasn’t anyone who fit the mood available. Either my closest friends don’t live near me, my friends who live here are in relationships where the ass is plentiful and the Friday evening plans are “We’re staying home and watching the 10pm news-sorry”, or my laziness won out and I didn’t feel like putting forth an effort to have a conversation with someone except for The German, I always like our conversations.
That’s what makes afternoons in cafes so special. You tend to want to be seated across the person or persons at the table, and the wine in front of you is there as a prop to loosen tongues instead of acting as a vehicle of social lubrication. Very few people are absolute pleasures to be around, where the friendship is so comfortable that neither one takes offense to the inevitable silence, instead the break is seen as kismet, both parties taking a break at the same time, instead of simultaneously having run out of things to say.
It’s nights like those which reminds me why I am ready to leave my house. I just hope that my homesickness won't leave me romanticizing an already strained relationship with my life in NJ. Because, a relationship that sucks, is a relationship that sucks, no matter how unsure the prospect of a new one is on the horizon.
how about a nice glass of wine (white) with a some of my homemade jew food?
Lauren- jew food?? like Matza Ball soup?? dude its like African Desert here. Got anything cold?