Letter to the Nor'easter Creator
Monday, April 16, 2007
D ear Mr. Rainmaker,
I really hate to bother you with this but I am having an extremely bad hair day due to the hurricane-Like rainfall as well as your strong wind. My hair was as perfect as it can be on a Monday morning minus the rushed hair bun but essentially cute and appropriate for a stormy weather. Alas, my hair is as repulsively ugly as a wet cat. Oh speaking of wet cat. I am soaked to my underwear. THANK YOU.
Besides that, my outfit today, complimented the weather: Jeans, Raincoat, 65 dollars rain boots, which by the way, didn’t do any justice to my jeans since the rain penetrated the boots through the top where there was a slight opening between my shins and the boots and thus resulted in having wet socks, wet jeans, wet raincoat and a broken umbrella. It was a bummer. I shall now spend another 10 dollars on an umbrella. I refuse to pay more than that because I actually believe that you do this on purpose. Do you find any satisfaction in us spending money on umbrellas?
I know you created the Nor’easter and I am not too sure if you may be mad at the environment, us perhaps? You tell me. I am sorry I burn so much electricity, I am sorry I take advantage to the nice weather and cook barbecues and light bonfires. I am truly sorry the ozone layer is as thin as an aluminum foil sheet, and everything is melting and species are becoming extinct, but really, I am sorry.
Would you mind if I ask you one more question? I guess not. But anyway, do you ever care about the damage that you may cause with your strong winds and your rain falling? This morning I woke up to find no electricity in the entire house, my basement was inundated, somehow my car got flooded. I had to call the special vacuum people to come and suck all the water that you purposely threw at us. Also, thanks to you, the NJ transit does not operate if there are strong winds and rainfalls. My commute to work was long, I felt like crying the entire hour and a half I waited patiently for the train and I am really disappointed in you. Really. I am.
If you find this letter safe and dry, I hope you take into consideration that I, and I am pretty sure the entire coastal area of NY and NJ are as disappointed as I am at you.
Perhaps you should consider taming your winds and absolutely change your rainfall from hurricane status to something more prissy- like rain showers and I’d also settle for a gentle breeze instead of that tornado wind you had the past two days. That way, I wouldn't have to swim to work and I can look somewhat dazzling and not have to worry about looking like I just came back from a fishing trip.
With great sincerity,
C. - A New Jersey Resident.
I really hate to bother you with this but I am having an extremely bad hair day due to the hurricane-Like rainfall as well as your strong wind. My hair was as perfect as it can be on a Monday morning minus the rushed hair bun but essentially cute and appropriate for a stormy weather. Alas, my hair is as repulsively ugly as a wet cat. Oh speaking of wet cat. I am soaked to my underwear. THANK YOU.
Besides that, my outfit today, complimented the weather: Jeans, Raincoat, 65 dollars rain boots, which by the way, didn’t do any justice to my jeans since the rain penetrated the boots through the top where there was a slight opening between my shins and the boots and thus resulted in having wet socks, wet jeans, wet raincoat and a broken umbrella. It was a bummer. I shall now spend another 10 dollars on an umbrella. I refuse to pay more than that because I actually believe that you do this on purpose. Do you find any satisfaction in us spending money on umbrellas?
I know you created the Nor’easter and I am not too sure if you may be mad at the environment, us perhaps? You tell me. I am sorry I burn so much electricity, I am sorry I take advantage to the nice weather and cook barbecues and light bonfires. I am truly sorry the ozone layer is as thin as an aluminum foil sheet, and everything is melting and species are becoming extinct, but really, I am sorry.
Would you mind if I ask you one more question? I guess not. But anyway, do you ever care about the damage that you may cause with your strong winds and your rain falling? This morning I woke up to find no electricity in the entire house, my basement was inundated, somehow my car got flooded. I had to call the special vacuum people to come and suck all the water that you purposely threw at us. Also, thanks to you, the NJ transit does not operate if there are strong winds and rainfalls. My commute to work was long, I felt like crying the entire hour and a half I waited patiently for the train and I am really disappointed in you. Really. I am.
If you find this letter safe and dry, I hope you take into consideration that I, and I am pretty sure the entire coastal area of NY and NJ are as disappointed as I am at you.
Perhaps you should consider taming your winds and absolutely change your rainfall from hurricane status to something more prissy- like rain showers and I’d also settle for a gentle breeze instead of that tornado wind you had the past two days. That way, I wouldn't have to swim to work and I can look somewhat dazzling and not have to worry about looking like I just came back from a fishing trip.
With great sincerity,
C. - A New Jersey Resident.
a-fuckin-men
**wrings out tie**
I know how it feels. imagine sitting at your desk in wet underpants.