Being Polite is Key
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
This morning I was trading e-mails with L.A. dude (because I have nothing else better to do - really), He has a girlfriend whom he adores and wants to eventually marry and procreate and have minis running around his white picket fence house in suburbia. Also he is parlaying this into a job as one of my non-paid therapist/counselors on issues of the same sex. As always, he was telling me to be bold and pick up the phone and I gave him a ton of reasons not to, which is one of my favorite things to do, next to working out and drinking wine.
He wrote “ it’s like going on a job interview, once the date is over, you need to follow up and thank her for having dinner and drinks.”
And because I am me: amusing, clever, charming and cute and all the nice words in the dictionary – combined with my boredom at work I had to write a sample of such a note.
Dear Madam –
Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I enjoyed speaking with you about your life and how my skills and experience would fit with your unmet relationship desires. Your intrepid dream for the future, coupled with your very adorable smile and height, makes you exactly the kind of woman to whom I would like to offer my services.
I am sure that I would surpass your expectations if given the chance to assume the position of Girlfriend. I understand that there is a trial period what will range from several dates to many months, depending on a combination of said skills. During this period, I will be acting as a freelancer, keeping my options open to explore girlfriend alternatives to ensure that you provide me with the greatest balance of comfort versus excitement. Once this training period is over and we have mutually determined our match, I expect full benefits and an investment on your part in my future happiness.
Should you have any further questions about my qualifications which are not limited to, micro-waving, kissing, being supportive, making you feel like a WOMAN when you are really acting like a two year old spoiled brat, back-rubbing, laughing at your lame jokes, listening and displaying an above-average knowledge of beer and a basic knowledge of lesbian terms, feel free to contact me by e-mail, cell, text message, blackberry, IM, Morse Code, pigeon messenger or smoke signal.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Many thanks,
NYC.Lezie
He wrote “ it’s like going on a job interview, once the date is over, you need to follow up and thank her for having dinner and drinks.”
And because I am me: amusing, clever, charming and cute and all the nice words in the dictionary – combined with my boredom at work I had to write a sample of such a note.
Dear Madam –
Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I enjoyed speaking with you about your life and how my skills and experience would fit with your unmet relationship desires. Your intrepid dream for the future, coupled with your very adorable smile and height, makes you exactly the kind of woman to whom I would like to offer my services.
I am sure that I would surpass your expectations if given the chance to assume the position of Girlfriend. I understand that there is a trial period what will range from several dates to many months, depending on a combination of said skills. During this period, I will be acting as a freelancer, keeping my options open to explore girlfriend alternatives to ensure that you provide me with the greatest balance of comfort versus excitement. Once this training period is over and we have mutually determined our match, I expect full benefits and an investment on your part in my future happiness.
Should you have any further questions about my qualifications which are not limited to, micro-waving, kissing, being supportive, making you feel like a WOMAN when you are really acting like a two year old spoiled brat, back-rubbing, laughing at your lame jokes, listening and displaying an above-average knowledge of beer and a basic knowledge of lesbian terms, feel free to contact me by e-mail, cell, text message, blackberry, IM, Morse Code, pigeon messenger or smoke signal.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Many thanks,
NYC.Lezie
brilliant
Awesome... one of your best!
FABULOUS!
Ano- Thank you
Tiff - So now you comment you little devil you...xo
Cawfeeguy- I try to be as fab as you ;)
I never laughed so much in my entire life.