Porn...and more Porn...
Friday, August 17, 2007
I was talking to LA Dude about threesomes and he was telling me about his experiences and how awful they were and I was shocked that one of the girls did not know how 2 guys and a girl can all successfully fuck at the same time without any "watching." You know, finger cuffs? Wobby H? London Bridge?
uh oh…
The secret to my vulgarity?
I had an ex who watched lots of porn and of course, being the excellent girlfriend that I was I sat there with her. *cough
I think she had developed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from excess ...
I don't get why more girls don't watch porn. Well, maybe they do and just don't admit to it? I don't know. I don't watch anything freaky. Threesomes don't do it for me, and neither does any other of that freaky shit like midget porn or animal sex. I don't like watching pearl necklaces (guys, that is never enjoyable) or have a fondness for Asians. I just like straight, normal sexy porn--and not that pussy (pun intended?) soft core shit on Skinamax. Fuck that romance shit. Or that fake lesbian porn shit, with Coco Dulce Supreme (I just made that name up – you like?) porn-star with fingernails 10inches long. Seriously. I don’t know any lezies who would fuck anyone with long nails. *Ouch.
I remember the first time I watched porn. And so here is the story. Remember Spice Channel? Well it was my discovery channel. I learned about a girl’s vagina. Ron Jeremy nasty but quite long ding dong, I learned how to basically fake my orgasm.
One time in college, I showed my roommates some of the porn my brother had left on my pc (now that I think about it – eww) and we all sat around and watched (no guys, we didn't start touching each others boobs or anything, just the occasional clitoris.) C. (I won’t type her name. She reads this and would kill me) was the only other girl I have ever met beside myself who admitted openly to liking porn. This is why she is awesome.
My point is, girls shouldn't be ashamed of watching a little sexy time. A little penetration never hurt anyone. And you can quote me on that. Who knows? You ladies might learn a thing or two.
Now, if you'll excuse me. I have to go back to work. Riiiiight....
uh oh…
The secret to my vulgarity?
I had an ex who watched lots of porn and of course, being the excellent girlfriend that I was I sat there with her. *cough
I think she had developed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from excess ...
I don't get why more girls don't watch porn. Well, maybe they do and just don't admit to it? I don't know. I don't watch anything freaky. Threesomes don't do it for me, and neither does any other of that freaky shit like midget porn or animal sex. I don't like watching pearl necklaces (guys, that is never enjoyable) or have a fondness for Asians. I just like straight, normal sexy porn--and not that pussy (pun intended?) soft core shit on Skinamax. Fuck that romance shit. Or that fake lesbian porn shit, with Coco Dulce Supreme (I just made that name up – you like?) porn-star with fingernails 10inches long. Seriously. I don’t know any lezies who would fuck anyone with long nails. *Ouch.
I remember the first time I watched porn. And so here is the story. Remember Spice Channel? Well it was my discovery channel. I learned about a girl’s vagina. Ron Jeremy nasty but quite long ding dong, I learned how to basically fake my orgasm.
One time in college, I showed my roommates some of the porn my brother had left on my pc (now that I think about it – eww) and we all sat around and watched (no guys, we didn't start touching each others boobs or anything, just the occasional clitoris.) C. (I won’t type her name. She reads this and would kill me) was the only other girl I have ever met beside myself who admitted openly to liking porn. This is why she is awesome.
My point is, girls shouldn't be ashamed of watching a little sexy time. A little penetration never hurt anyone. And you can quote me on that. Who knows? You ladies might learn a thing or two.
Now, if you'll excuse me. I have to go back to work. Riiiiight....
god it's been YEARS since i had a 3-some.
good times :)
hahaha. Once. is enough for me. I don't think Stephen would approve ;)
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL NO.
the ONLY way to be in a threesome is as the Special Guest Star; NEVER as one of the regulars.