Friends in Relationships
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
I n the past weeks I’ve decided to clean out my closet. I’ve realized that I am in that social timeline where I need to make new friends – no necessarily wiping out all the friends I have, but a few. For example: the ones that are overly involved with their significant other where there is no time to hang out [without the significant other].
I can’t really say that I dislike all people who are in serious relationships (or so they think) but I dislike the ones who are too much into each other where when I call to hang out, one of them doesn’t want to and so the other half will absolutely not go out. I find it extremely pitiful. I believe people should lead different lives and not be totally infatuated with one another.
I’ve been in a couple of long-term relationship, but my very first LTR had to be with Hope. With her, I had a hard time letting go. I always wanted to be around, hang out, and go out together. When it was time for her to meet new friends (she started this 20 something group friends thing at the center) my insecurities grew to the max. Not only was I going to miss having her around on Tuesday nights but also I had to deal with the issue when her friends met up at bars/restaurants sans moi. I actually learned from my relationship with her. I learned that life doesn’t always revolve around your other half. There is in fact, some time needed to get away from one another. This is one of the lessons I carried with me to my next LTR. I always gave her space and in return I was happy to see my friends and go out without having my girlfriend glued to my waist.
I suppose that is what my friends who are currently in LTR have. I can’t talk for a lot of them, but I am pretty darn sure that it is their first “real” relationship. I guess with every failed shot, I will see them once a year.
Having friends who are highly drawn in with their significant other can be draining. I can’t just call a friend and ask them to come out because they have to confirm with their partners. It is one of my pet peeves. I repulsively hate when I do all the calling or texting and trying to make plans only to find out that they are “staying in” (not too sure if that’s a special code for leave us the fuck alone, we are making sweet-oh so sweet loving)
Maybe I am taking this too seriously, maybe I am the one who has a problem and who is too “single” and doesn’t realize that time spent with the love one are precious (which I think they are) but I do think that time spent with friends is also precious and memorable and FUN (selfish me!). Maybe I need to get a new crowd – a singles’ group where we can run wild in the wee hours of the morning and not have lovers to tame us – calling/texting every minute of the night just to see what we are up to.
Really – can they be any more understanding?
I can’t really say that I dislike all people who are in serious relationships (or so they think) but I dislike the ones who are too much into each other where when I call to hang out, one of them doesn’t want to and so the other half will absolutely not go out. I find it extremely pitiful. I believe people should lead different lives and not be totally infatuated with one another.
I’ve been in a couple of long-term relationship, but my very first LTR had to be with Hope. With her, I had a hard time letting go. I always wanted to be around, hang out, and go out together. When it was time for her to meet new friends (she started this 20 something group friends thing at the center) my insecurities grew to the max. Not only was I going to miss having her around on Tuesday nights but also I had to deal with the issue when her friends met up at bars/restaurants sans moi. I actually learned from my relationship with her. I learned that life doesn’t always revolve around your other half. There is in fact, some time needed to get away from one another. This is one of the lessons I carried with me to my next LTR. I always gave her space and in return I was happy to see my friends and go out without having my girlfriend glued to my waist.
I suppose that is what my friends who are currently in LTR have. I can’t talk for a lot of them, but I am pretty darn sure that it is their first “real” relationship. I guess with every failed shot, I will see them once a year.
Having friends who are highly drawn in with their significant other can be draining. I can’t just call a friend and ask them to come out because they have to confirm with their partners. It is one of my pet peeves. I repulsively hate when I do all the calling or texting and trying to make plans only to find out that they are “staying in” (not too sure if that’s a special code for leave us the fuck alone, we are making sweet-oh so sweet loving)
Maybe I am taking this too seriously, maybe I am the one who has a problem and who is too “single” and doesn’t realize that time spent with the love one are precious (which I think they are) but I do think that time spent with friends is also precious and memorable and FUN (selfish me!). Maybe I need to get a new crowd – a singles’ group where we can run wild in the wee hours of the morning and not have lovers to tame us – calling/texting every minute of the night just to see what we are up to.
Really – can they be any more understanding?
I have a few. It's annoying.
it isnt you T. dont worry